Oh summer, your here at last. The warmer weather and longer days are welcome by all. And with the return of the summer here, that also mean the return of the Annual Riverhead Cardboard Boat Race. Oh yea!

     As many of you know from my first blog post on this site, I entered this amazing competition last year. I, along with my crew, built a mighty sea vessel with nothing more than cardboard boxes and duct tape. When completed, it was approximately fourteen feet long and about three feet wide. It named the Box Muncher, because it was made out of boxes and was going to chew up the competition, or so we thought. The boat was held strong, but our rowing capability was lacking. This year, the boat returned as the Box Muncher II. A little shorter, little wider, and better prepared.

     There was A LOT more spectators and entrants this year than last. In fact it was double, leaving little parking space for the convoy of SUVs we had transporting the mighty boat. Like last year, we had the boat in pieces, with plenty of supplies at the ready to assemble the boat. Well, we thought we did. Somewhere between Queens and Riverhead, we had lost our spare supply of Gorilla Glue tape and promotional box cutters. A mad dash to the nearest Home Depot helped resolve our issue. We were able to resupply, assemble the boat, and were awaiting our fate at the hands of the Peconic River.

     Here we are again, standing on the dock, holding the boat over our heads, waiting for our spot in the race. It was a beautiful day. In fact, a perfect day for a boat race. A slight breeze swept across our faces as the boat's name was called. We approach the edge and begin to lower the might sea vessel into the water. Like last year, it began to float. Success! Now we begin to step aboard the boat one at a time. Last year, we had five men on the boat. Unfortunately, one could not make it, so we did the only logical thing and replaced him with two more people, evening us out at six people on the vessel. As we hop aboard, I begin to watch the boat sink deeper into the water, but after the final man gets aboard, the water stops rising and we remain afloat. Success again! Then we hear it... the countdown. "3...2...1... GO!" and we were off!

     From the land we can hear the growing roar of the crowd clashing with the sound of a hundred oars plunging into the water. We began rowing away from the deck, crashing into other boats along the way. Oars were getting tangled into others and boats were bouncing of each other as we made our way down the river. We were rowing well; much better than last year since we only rowed in circles. We made our way down to the buoy, but we were not the first ones to circle around it. As a couple boats started making their way back, we set our sights on the returning vessels in the hopes of sinking them. A loud "THUD" can be heard as we crashed into the Irish-themed vessel, alas the boat stayed strong as it bounced off of us heading back to the dock. We finally made our around the buoy and began to make our way back when we see that three other vessels are already ahead of us. Like madmen, we began rowing back furiously, hoping to catch when the the worse thing that could possibly happen...happened. Our boat was beginning to split in the half. It was happening slowly, but a bubble was beginning to form in the center of the boat. We began to row even faster, dodging the oncoming traffic of the other boats trying to make their way to the buoy. We began rowing faster, the bubble grew bigger. I move on top of the bubble, delaying the water from breaking through. We row even more, the dock is within reach. With the last ounce of strength, we crash into the dock. We made it. However, we made it into fourth place, meaning this will be the second year the Box Muncher returns without a trophy.

     There you have it folks, we didn't win. All was not lost, though we did learn a lot from the year. First, we made it all the way down the river and back, a personal best. Secondly, we need to have the seam of the boat be width-wise, instead of length-wise, thereby removing the bubble effect we were getting in the water. Thirdly, we need to layer up on the cardboard so it doesn't bend and give so easily. Other than that, we all just need to work on the rowing a bit more, and I think next year, we will have ourselves a trophy. That's right, we are returning. Keep an eye out next year for Box Muncher III: Revenge of the Munch. Also, like our Facebook page, were you can see highlights from this years race, along with ideas and construction of next year's boat.

I have several goals in my life. One of which is obtain as many promotional awards as possible for the most unconventional, intriguing, or obscure sports events as possible. Many men and women have trophies or awards for conventional sport such as baseball or basketball. But how many people can claim they competed in the Riverhead Cardboard Boat Race? Only a blessed few, and I was one of them.

Now your first question may be: "What is this cardboard boat race?" Well my adoring fans, it's an amazing race where you build a boat entirely out of cardboard and duct tape. THAT'S IT! You can paint it for decoration, but nothing waterproof. Then you must row this boat down the Peconic River, around a buoy, and back. That's right folks, you have to get into this water soluble boat that you try to make insoluble, and row it down a river. If you are the first across the finish line you win. Now this is no easy feat with one person, but my boat called for five rowers.

After months of collecting cardboard, and a week of construction, the beast was complete. Thank goodness we had our promotional box cutters. Standing at 14 feet long, 3 feet wide, and 6 feet tall, weighing in at approximately 75 pounds, it's made out of cardboard boxes and will chew up the competition, behold... THE BOX MUNCHER! A Viking longboat with a Viking crew just as tough as the name suggests.

 June 25 2011, D-Day. As the sun rose over the quaint town of Downtown Riverhead (that's in Long Island, NY for those unfamiliar with the area), my team was en route to the river. We had to be there early, for a 14 foot vessel is not easily transportable, and had to be reassembled at the dock. As I checked my boat and my crew in with the supervisor, we were all given promotional t-shirts  endorsing the events and all the sponsors. It was a good quality shirt and even included some of the instructions and rules of the event.

As the day grew on, more and more people began arriving. Showing by the hundreds at points Many were spectators, but there were plenty of people showing up with their cardboard creations. After posing for many photos and interviews with local news stations, the races began. My boat was in the last race, due to its size and the age of my crew. As I watch, I see boats that seemed to be built very sturdy began to sink or fall apart. And for the first time, I actually felt nervous. Their boats were colorfully decorated, built fairly well (I thought so at least), and had less people in it. How was my single layer cardboard boat, with hollow boxes filling out the bottom, going to hold over 1100 pounds of man? All well, there's no going back now. The fourth race is getting ready and we are the dock waiting to put our boat in the water.

Here I am, stand at the edge of the dock with my crew, holding a boat over our heads, waiting to put the boat in the water. I watch as boat after boat go in, then their crew. and row to the starting line. Now it's our turn. We line up at the edge of the dock and drop the beast in. Sure enough, it floats. One by one, we begin to get on the boat. It rocks back and forth, but it stays afloat as all 1100 pounds of us get on. We row to the starting line, bumping into the competition and trash talking along the way. We knew we had this race in the bag. It floats and we have the most rowers in our boat. The countdown begins, our grips tighten around our oars to the point our arms begin to shake. Sweat beads down our face from the blistering sun. Months of planning, and many long hours of constructing all came down to this. The final horn blows, and we're off.

All at once, the roar of over twenty five teams' oars splashing into the water was deafening. Water was splashing us all around as we begin to descend down the river. Boats began sinking immediately while others sprinted to the front. Tempers are flaring, and adrenaline is pumping. The crowd cheering and screaming, getting the teams riled up in the hopes that they row faster. As the boats began to get near the buoy, some of my fans on shore were wondering, "Where's the Box Muncher?". Well, if you looked back, not too far from the starting line, you would see us, rowing in circles. It turns out during all this time we spent planning and building, we neglected one crucial aspect of this entire endeavor. We did not learn how to row a boat. We were from Queens, where were we going to learn how to row a boat? It was at this point we had decided to give up on crossing the finish line and do what Vikings do best, pillage and plunder. We turned our boat into the oncoming boats and tried to disrupt and destroy as much as we could. However, the race ended with one of our competitors narrowly escaping our carnage and crossing the finish line. One boat was not so lucky as they sank upon impact of the mighty Box Muncher. Those little girls now know the true wrath of the Vikings! 

Needless to say, we didn't win any of the promotional trophies. However we did receive an award for participation. The town and the crowd loved us so much that the mayor personally invited us back for next year. Also, I actually built a boat out of cardboard that held over 1100 pounds, and it didn't sink! I guess there's a silver lining in everything. However, let this be clear to all the people of Downtown Riverhead, and people wishing to participate in the race next year, WE WILL BE BACK! WE WILL BE MORE PREPARED! SO WATCH OUT! The quaint town of Downtown Riverhead has no idea what they are in store for next year!